Who's driving this boat anyway?

I was talking to my therapist today (camp, alas, has ended.)  We were talking about how to balance being bipolar with life.  When do you say "I'm not going to let this illness run my life. (stomp, pout)."  And when do you say "I have an illness that needs me to make different choices than I might otherwise make. (sigh, look down to the ground.) "

Because I have bipolar disorder (so my doctors say.)  There is no cure for what I have.  Now that this has awakened in my brain, I'm stuck with it.  I wish it had stayed asleep, but we don't get to relive our past.  As much as we might like to.  

So we can only mold our future and try to learn from the past.  What did I learn?  Don't make hasty decisions.  Clearly communicate.  Don't make assumptions.

So how do I make decisions going forward?  What do I do now that I've quit my job?  What kind of trip should I take next week?  How am I going to structure my days without work? What should my relationships look like?

One good thing that has come out of this is a reinforcement of my spirituality.  This load is too heavy to carry alone.  But even if God is a co-pilot I still struggle with who is driving this boat - me or my bipolar bear.