Friday, March 14, 2008

Half empty

Well, I pulled out of yet another crash with my soul intact so far.  But it seems like every time I fall down it gets harder to stand up.  Luckily the falling hard hasn't happened that often.  Instead I have been living in this in-between space.  Where I reside - I feel the darkness like a membrane that could rupture at any moment.

And I' m looking for work.

It does seem like my life is half-empty.  I  know it would help to reframe it, but I'm too tired.  I feel exhausted by what I've been through, what I am still going through, what I have to live up to.  I feel hopeless and beseeched by problems and hurdles.  I haven't found my sanctuary.

Instead I'll ask all of you to look closely at your life.  I wish I had realized how lucky I was in times past.  I think we all grow complacent and don't remember to thank, God, the fates, or whomever your higher power is.   Do you have good solid relationships?  A job?  Your health? 

Thank your lucky stars, because it can all go away in a heartbeat. 

2 comments:

photo_chiq said...

It is important to recognize what we all have in life, you are right they can be fleeting however, there are some constants and I am a firm believer in the idea that with time everything gets better... "this too shall pass" That is not to say that it wont take a lot of hard work to make it pass. Hang in there you can find your way through.

May Voirrey said...

Just by trying, looking for things that might help, acknowledging that your brain is wired differently and wanting to know how to make that work in the greater world anyway...All of this is how we scaffold ourselves into surviving.

There are no easy answers, but keep looking for answers anyway. There are so many of us...you're not as alone as you feel.