Day 1 - Why I'm here

I was lying in bed today - a common thing around here - wondering for the umpteenth time why none of the books on depression really explain the suffering that occurs. Just once I'd like to find a book that start out, "Depression sucks. It hurts all the time. You can't get away from it." I am tired of reading about diet and exercise, about cognitive restructuring. I am tired of the cheery talk - sounding so upbeat describing such a terrible thing. I said someone needed to write "A Girlfriend's Guide to Depression" - like the one about motherhood. Something that really tells it like it is. My husband, who at that point was falling asleep (apparently bored enough with my latest breakdown), remarked that I should write one. Thus, the blog was born. Isn't this the nature of the Internet? It's the new vanity press!

So, I'm here to share my journey and hopefully to let one person know they are not alone in their suffering.

And let me get one thing out on the table. I'm not going to advocate suicide, or even condone it. If you are suicidal, by all means get help (see here for a good place to start http://suicidehotlines.com/). But also I hope you will read this and know you are not alone. That others are out there in the same pain, just struggling to get by. Lord knows, I've been there - almost on a daily basis for months now. I fully anticipate being there again.

So, in the coming days I'll tell a little about myself, my journey, and how God awful it is to be depressed. Telling it like it is from the bottom.