Dreams and depression

I started to write this post about dreaming, and realized there are two kinds of dreams: daytime and nighttime.  Both, for me, have been altered by my illness.

My dreams at night are a slave to the meds and my insomnia.  When your sleep pattern changes, so does your REM sleep and your dream cycle.  I have experienced some of my most vivid dreams while I've been depressed.

Which is so very ironic, given the lack of day time dreams.  Life dreams.  Goals.  Aspirations. This came up today at camp (so love the camp thing - see below)  I asked one of the others whether they had dreams - and found that I'm not the only one who has trouble looking forward.

When life is so bleak, so empty.  When all you feel inside is dark and haunting.  When you can't imagine surviving this pain.  When you can't believe that there is a future that is different from today.  

There isn't any room for dreams.