Why it's not a marathon

Endurance. Learning to wait it out. Handling the pain. It's a marathon, not a sprint. It's almost unbearable.

These are all things said after months and months of unrelenting pain. OK, it's not a marathon. Here's why. You get to train for a marathon so you'll be ready. You get your body and mind into shape so you can endure. You get to practice. (OK - I can't help but adding, it's also voluntary and you know when it starts). This is like throwing the overweight, out of shape, couch potato into the New York marathon and telling him he doesn't have a choice but finish. He's not going to do well.

Also in a marathon you get a cool t-shirt and the satisfaction of knowing how long you have left. You can count down the miles and know when you are half-way, when you are almost home. And people cheering at the waiting line. And you get to relax and have a moment of let down. The satisfaction of meeting a worked for goal. And then you can go have a drink.

Maybe I'll get to that finish line. But I have no idea how long until I get there. I've had no training for this and man, am I out of breath. It's hard to keep going when you don't know how long you have to run and you've been running for so long.

And with all the meds, no drink for me at the finish line.

The pain is intense and unrelenting today.