I've been meaning to write this up for a while. For those who wonder about how "World of Warcraft" got into my profile along with all the mental illness. Back in the beginning, before the crash, my then boyfriend (now husband) introduced me to his passion - online gaming. Not realizing that I had an addictive streak, he didn't know what he was getting into. I quickly became enamored of World of Warcraft. And we happily started playing our characters together (for those coming from the WoW link - I play a druid, a hunter and a warlock primarily. Druid is my main. Alliance side. Currently level 61)
Then the crash, and my inability to do anything I used to do. Particularly to read. You see, many folks can't read when they are depressed. I would look at the same page over and over again and not be able to make out what it said. This was so painful for a lifelong reader. I had used books as my escape for my entire life. I lost the best and most well-loved coping mechanism I had.
But most of the time, I could play.
And so I played. And played and played. When I couldn't do anything else, when I couldn't work, I played. As long as I could get out of bed, or off the floor (which admittedly wasn't all that often in the beginning.) And when I play, sometimes, it's the closest thing I have to escape. Sometimes I can get lost in it. It's rare, but it happens. And in the game, I have goals that I can actually meet. I can complete things. I can be strong and powerful. I can progress and gain experience. I can grow as a player and make progress. I can learn new things. I can die and come back again. I can survive.
None of which I can go in real life anymore.
And for my marriage? Let's admit any illness like this is tough on a marriage - particularly a new one, particularly when the source of the ruminations comes between the two. World of Warcraft is something we can do that doesn't involve my illness. It's a way to collaborate without talking about the hurt. I think it allows my husband the chance to relax and enjoy time with me, when it's usually so painful. He gets to see me competent, even if only for a short while.
And it gives us something to talk about, to plan for.
So, what should you give your bipolar loved ones for Christmas? A slow cooker (see below) and a subscription to World of Warcraft.